| Since no one reads this.... |
[Sep. 24th, 2006|10:37 pm] |
I find myself in a place i have never been before. A place where i find myself more hopeful, and because of that i am more willing to believe in myself. I think that this change came about because i gained back a piece of what i lost over the years. I believe in what i can do and the friends i can make. I deserve happiness and peace, and i can achieve that goal. I am surrounded, right now, with people who have a genuine care for me, and it makes me so happy. It doesn't bother me that anyone talks badly about me; im sure that that have their reasons. I no longer care because i have finally realized that it's not volume but quality that makes friendship important. I now have relationships with people that are more than shallow aquintances, and i can finally be more than this self-absorbed, immature kid... I can have depth and not be considered wierd, or i can be goofy and not be thought of as strange. I am not this kid who is a bitch, and i'm not this person who talks shit. I talk truth, i express my real emotions about a person, and i don't bitch too much anymore unless i have to because of the circumstance. It's fun just to be myself, and in realizing so i have finally attained what i set out to be. Me! I still have ups and downs, and i'm not perfect, but i am on the track of happiness on my own, and it feels amazing. So hate me if you must, talk as much as you have to, i love, and that is all. I won't be filled with this hatred or jelousy anymore because its a useless emotion and i'm better than that. No one is better than me, and inversly i am better that no one. I am solidly me...
MUAH!
corey lee |
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| Knocked off the high horse i never rode.... |
[Jan. 27th, 2006|04:51 pm] |
So today we got the cast list for my high school musical. I thought i would get more, i got the part of the town herald, no songs, just the part of the guy who screams occasionally on stage. I came back from districts with nothing but excellents in my group stuff and superiors on my solo, and got cast, in a musical, as a non singer. i don't even dance. I was one of two acts that got a superior, and they were pantomime, not even music, but that's okay. What is it, do i suck? And why is it that the one person that got me started in singing has lost all faith in me, everyone saw charlie brown right? i wasn't in it either, i've been in nothing at navarre, and i'm keeping it that way. Taking this part is an insult, i've been screwed over all year long, and i'm not bowing down to anyone at navarre. I'm better than that, i might not be the best singer, but i'm alright, i mean i would have to be wouldn't i? He said that the reason i wasn't cast big was because of what i'm doing for colleges and state practice. I'M NOT AUDITIONING FOR COLLEGES AND HE KNOWS THAT! This was going to be my last show with navarre, but i'd rather go out being remembered as something with a little bit more vocalization than someone who screams, though i feel like doing it right now. I should have gone to gulf breeze with steph, at least there i would have been used, and maybe i would have actually furthered my talent. Instead i'm around a bunch of kids who want to be handed everything, who think they're the best, but when put to the test, can't stand on one leg. I'm so over this, i really can't take navarre and their pseudo-talent. Everyone saw Charlie Brown didn't they, i mean i'm not wrong, am i? well whatever, i'm not going to let this stop me, not by a long shot. STATE HERE I COME!
corey lee |
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| SUPERIORS! |
[Jan. 21st, 2006|11:07 pm] |
So this weekend has been amazing. I had so much fun at districts! i saw everyone and there mom, and i loved it. i really loved it, to be surrounded by talent is one of the most amazing experiences to be had in life. I did really well this weekend, my large group got straight excellents, my ensemble acting got the same, and my solo got straight SUPERIORS! i'm going to freakin state! i'm so excited, and i really can't wait. My large group is going as well, and i'm so freakin happy about it, i love the group and shakira is amazing, and the characterization on stage is impecable, just wish i hadn't forgotten my lines..... ne who, i'm really excited, and in other news i'm no longer single, david and i are back together, and i'm really happy about it, i love life right now, and i'm so blessed, i really can't wait for state, and to be around everyone and god, it was amazing! much love!
corey lee |
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| A new day.... |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|12:25 pm] |
Okay this is the time when everyone expects me to be weak, to not be able to pick myself up. Well sad to say, that's not going to happen. I'm starting a new part of my life now, one free from drama, on full of love and happiness, one without the burden of care.... I'm so thankful for all that i have and all the amazing people in my life. I'm not alone, and i'll never be alone, why? Because i have an abundance of people who are there for me when i'm down and who want to be around me anytime, not just when it suits them. I love life right now, and i couldn't be any happier with the way that things are progressing. I've got a lot to be happy about, i'm in college and away from the bad parts of high school, i'm working out and beginning to feel amazed with myself for once, and i've got people around me for once in my life who would never stab me in the back, and i love it. I can't really explain the emotion i'm going through right now, its a combination of happy and sad. Sad that the old times must go, but happy that the new times are coming with joy. I can't wait and i think that when i find what i'm looking for, i'll be amazed. I love you all
corey lee |
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| Christmas time is here..... |
[Dec. 25th, 2005|01:00 am] |
well, yet again, it has been a while since i've updated. so here we go. Things are going really well with the fam right now, i couldn't be happier. my mother and i have reached this understanding about my maturity which makes me kinda really happy. David and I are doing fabulously, i'm really really really (takes a breath) really happy with him right now. he is trying so hard to make our 6th month anniversary special, and he's doing a good job of it from what i hear. (he's told everyone and there mom what he's getting/doing for me and everyone says i'll love it) School is out! I am officially now dual enrolled at pjc next semester and i am so freakin freakin happy about that. I've seen some of my friends that got home from college (Ciara, Kimmie, and Katie) i've missed them so much and i honestly think that the people that left last year made my year happy, though this year is amazing as well. I'm working alot and sleeping even more. i've had a lot of fun on this break, mostly with david. But i'd love to see everyone, so if anyone wants to go get somethin to eat or hang or see a movie, i'm game. pretty much that sums it up, i love everyone and have a very very very merry christmas! MUAH!
Corey Lee |
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| Doin good |
[Dec. 13th, 2005|09:02 pm] |
Hey kids what's up?
It's been yet another long span between the time i've updated and now, so here we go. First, life is good, i'm back in navarre now with all my family and that's all i'm gonna say about that. I love my mom and sisters and all is good. Second, i dual enroll next semester, so i'm going to be GONE FROM HIGH SCHOOL! yay! i'm excited. Third, David and I are doing really amazingly right now, and i'm not seein it goin down hill at all. i really am enjoying the time that we spend together! Hooray! Fourth, Joseph is going well, though i haven't been to rehearsal for about a week now and that makes me kinda sad, i need to know when the rehearsals are.... so if ya wanna fill me in that would be kosher! Okay finally, i really am totally still gonna try and see everyone in p-town this time, so freakin call me and we'll hang yo, cuz i miss a lot of people like crazy! also, since i'm back in navarre, I REALLY WANNA HANG OUT WITH THE KEWL KIDS AGAIN! i missed everyone so freakin much. And now i have my own car, so i'll be able to pretty much do whatever i freakin freakin wanna! lol. I love everyone and i hope that i get some responses. Talk to everyone soon.
p.s. i qualified for the 100% bright futures scholarship with my volunteer hours (mostly theater) and my SAT scores (still waiting on the ACT)! so i'm excited. |
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| Do I smell? |
[Nov. 14th, 2005|09:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
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So i'm sitting here alone, and lately i've noticed that the phone doesn't ring as often as it did a while ago, my boyfriend doesn't even call me that often (which is okay, i still love him). I guess i'm real sad that people don't think that i'm kewl enough to come hang out, or just ignore me for the simple fact that i'm just Corey, and no body needs me.... I realize that this sounds really emo and attention grabbing, but if it wasn't how i really felt, i wouldn't put it. I'm so sick of sitting at home and waiting by the phone to finally realize at one o'clock that no one is going to call. I guess that's why i do shows, i don't give myself enough time to be alone, because in reality that's what i am, alone..... |
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| Joshep..... |
[Nov. 11th, 2005|10:49 am] |
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So o my freakin god.... I JUST GOT CAST AS JOSHEPH IN JOSEPH AND THE AMZING TECHNICOLORED DREAM COAT! last night i tried out for it with beta, and we're doing 14 shows and for about four of them i think, i'll be joseph! there are two other josephs, vincent is one, i don't know who the other is, prolly josh! its gonna be soooooo much fun! ican't wait! rachel's in it too! i love her soooooooooooooo freakin much! she's amazing! I think Maria's in it too, which makes me insanely happy! she's awesome. GOD i'm freakin on cloud nine right now! hooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy! In other news the king and i opens tonight, we're sold out all weekend, so everyone get tickets next week! yay! um, also, my hair is black.... i know right... i think i like it but i'm not sure, david gets to see it tonight, i hope he at least likes it! i'm nervous. Well ne who, i love everyone, so i'll talk to everyone later. YAY! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 2nd, 2005|05:57 pm] |
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Hey everyone, how's it goin? I feel very isolated right now from a lot of people, and i don't know why. Anywho, things are good right now, King and I, prepairing for districts already, chorus crap, maintaining a 4.0..... lol. Things are great though, i'm doin really well, my family is okay, things are goin good with most of my friends, drama is kinda subsiding, and i'm loving it. I have the SAT this weekend, i know i'll do really well on it, i'm a good test taker. Um other than that, this weekend, i'm free, so if ne one misses me gimme a ring, K? Well i g2g, austen's almost here to pick me up, bless her! lol. I love everyone! MUAH! |
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| Happy Halloween Weekend! |
[Oct. 29th, 2005|01:25 pm] |
Yay! I went to austen's house last night, it was fun as heck. We camped out in the back yard, so to keep warm i had to snuggle with david all night... Tonight i'm goin to Amy's party, its gonna rock the face, i can't wait. Me and austen are goin as a pirate and her prisoner, guess which one i am. Today me and david are four months, hooray! We're makin it. lol. I love it. Um but yea, other than that, the king and i is goin good, i started my diet cuz i'm shirtless the whole time, i get to start tanning in my tanning bed tomorrow, i'm so glad that i have one, and i started my work out, i'm so glad i have motivation to... but ne who, lots of love! I'm gonna go!
Corey Lee |
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| Thank you... |
[Oct. 25th, 2005|03:16 pm] |
Hey everyone,
I'm back home now, as many of you know. I went to school today, got all my homework... ugh. I'm really tired, and for some odd reason didn't want to be alive today. The small amount of energy i could muster was just not enough to see me through the day. I have King and I rehearsals tonight, which are gonna be fun i'm sure. I'm so glad that i get to be in it, really, if for nothin else, than because i'm bored. I'm so tired and stressed right now. I"m going to have to take night school next semester, ugh... I really don't want to but whatever. I had a really good time when i was in Illinois though. I saw my family and friends, and even though me g is gone, she did leave us all on a very good note. My friends helped raise me out of it, like they always do, i love everyone. I saw all the important people while i was in illinois and they're all doing very well. I got home yesterday, and david came by. i love him, god do i love him. I've been reallly bipolar with him though lately, and i don't know what the deal is. All i know is that deep down, i love him, and that's all that matters. Well ne who, i g2g i'll talk to everyone later, Lots of love
Corey Lee |
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| pray for him |
[Oct. 21st, 2005|02:29 am] |
Hey guys, its David, I’m posting for Corey.
Last night was a very intense night for Corey, emotionally. He called me in tears to tell me that a very big part of his life, his grandmother, was in a coma and they didn’t expect her to live very long. Soon after that, we learned that she had passed away.
I’m sure we all know what its like to lose someone extremely close to us, and the emotional rollercoaster that it entails. He's leaving early this morning to go back up to Illinois for the funeral. So please keep Corey in your thoughts and prayers.
Thanks,
David |
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| I am doing nothing at the moment.... |
[Oct. 13th, 2005|10:35 pm] |
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I really am beginning to think i lack talent in every arena of drama. I have gotten rejected twice in the past month, once from the king and i, and once from NAVARRE'S ONE ACT (that was the most humiliating experience i have been through to date). I reall am thinking that i need to just quit while i'm ahead so that i don't put much faith into it. I miss out on PCC which was the dumbest thing in the world, i really wish i could have made that audition. Ugh! I am currently doing absolutely nothing to further my talent, and i feel as though i'm regressing back to nothing, slowly. I can't take it, and pretty much, i'm thinking about just going to med school and getting it over with, ugh! |
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| Pretty much perfect..... |
[Oct. 10th, 2005|11:09 pm] |
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Okay so now, i'm doin really really well. My family is finally settled for good, everything is going great. David and I are doing really well, and i love every minute of it. He's really trying, and i appreciated every bit of it. School's goin really well straight a's. as far as theater goes, you know i've had some rejection lately, but i'm not going to let it get me down, i'm going to keep on trying, and i'm going to finally, someday find my place. I know i will. I really love all of the support that i've gotten from my friends, and i love everyone in my life. No matter how little people think they might help me, everything makes a difference to me. Well that's all for now. i love everyone! |
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| what?! |
[Oct. 8th, 2005|12:48 pm] |
So here's how last night went....
I got off of work early so that i could see david, he went to zombie prom, so i couldn't see him till later. I went swing dancin with my girl keri black, and it was amazing, cuz i love her! Then after that, i went to austen's house and chilled with her and then david came over, and we worked out our problems, which is good. I love him! Then we went home and on the way to drop him off at his car, we realized, it wasn't there! can you believe that? it got stolen! so we went to my house, he stayed here, and when he wakes up we have to call da po po! ugh! What i night, right? god, hecktick, but ne who it was good. Well that's all folks, i love you all and good bye! |
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| Okay, so last night was amazing |
[Oct. 6th, 2005|11:28 am] |
Last night i went out to dinner with my amazing friend, Brittany Goodan, and i was so sad. It's like the last time we're going to get to hang out in like forever! ugh! so distraught. We went to ruby tuesdays, split a tall cake, then went to see paul walker's hot bod in into the blue! omg, the movie was okay, but him shirtless the entire time totally makes up for the lack of substance! Ne who, i'm pretty much in love with Brit, and i'm really gonna miss her! Moving on, Jarvis, Rachel, Vincent, and Austin showed up for dinner, and it was amazing! i love them all, it was such a good time. And then to make things better, my boyfriend called me back, so like he was the cherry on a very very good piece of cake! yay! well ne who, i gots to work tonight kids and then i'm off on friday, which makes me insanely happy. I love all and ps to rachel, i posted a pic of you and jarvis on my myspace! lots of love!
corey lee |
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| ugh... |
[Oct. 4th, 2005|12:12 pm] |
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Hangover.... ugh.... Well ne who, it's been a while since i've written an entry that was any good so here goes... Fall break has been very good so far. I went to sydney's house on saturday, got real trashed, re-couperated sunday, and then did it again last night. Ugh so fun. I'm supposed to be on my way to illinois right now, but i can't cuz i didn't request the week off, so i'm stuck here for all of fall break. I wanted to go back to see all my friends and stuff but its okay. I called them the other night, and they were all getting drunk, so they passed the fone around for like an hour, and i caught up with some really good friends, though they were wasted, and all was good. David's gone till like thurday, so i'll get to see him some times next year, lol. I really don't have any plans for the rest of break, so people should like call me and we can have fun! yay! Life is stable right now, my mom moved back to pace with her fiance, and i'm still here, so hooray! I got asked to be the best man in there wedding, which i'm excited about. but yea, that's pretty much it, i love everyone and yay happiness and love all around! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|11:55 pm] |
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Have you ever reached points of your life where you thought that you just aren't that great. I mean, right now, i'm struggling with a lot of personal issues and its made my confidence level drop to a new low. I feel like physically, i'm nothing, that i'm ugly, that i don't have what i once did. I don't have any reassurance from myself that that is not true, not that i really ever did. I feel like a big ball of ugly shit. I can't deal with it right now. Life seems so messed up right now. My family is breaking apart, i feel so alone in all of this, like I can't really open up to anyone, like i'm trapped inside of myself. My sarcasm and over bearance have become self defense mechanisms, by making others seem not that great, i feel like i can be around them, so that even though i really think that they are so much better than me and that there lives might suck as much as mine, i can swallow my problems and maybe focus on something else. I'm not really dealing well with anything right now, and i feel like the most unatractive person on the face of the planet. I don't want to feel like this anymore, i want to feel like i'm gorgeous, like i can have whatever i want, and i know that sounds childish, but there was a time when i had that confidence, but some how in the corse of my life and the events that have taken place over the last four months, i have lost that feeling. I really can't function right now, and i'm really tired of it. I cried the other day when i looked into the mirror, i cried so hard, and i don't understand why. Is it because i'm afraid i'm getting fat again, or that i'm losing my non existant looks. My personality is suffering because of this, and i don't know how to stop it. I just want to cry because its all i think about, i can't concentrate on anything else. Last night David and I were taking pictures, i deleted all of them off my camera before he could see them. Why? because i didn't want him to look at them and think, why am i with this ugly fat ass. I'm so worried about myself and everything right now, and i just feel alone.... |
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| kicked out..... |
[Sep. 19th, 2005|06:58 pm] |
Okay, so right now my life is back to the drama that i had once before. I left my house tonight. I was going to go to my audition for the King and I but my mom bitched me out for not having the money for gas at the moment. Then my EX STEP DAD interrupted our conversation and said that i couldn't because i didn't have the money, so i should forget it. I said nothing and then when i did try to defend myself, the both jumped down my throat. So i screamed, don't yell at me either of you, and they yelled back, get out. So i took them up on there word, i called sydney, who i'm sorry that i involved in this, and asked if she could take me to ted's house, my mom's ex-boyfriend, and she said yes, i love her with all of my heart. My parents totally didn't think i would go. i did. On the way out we exchanged explicits and derald threw some of my stuff out on the lawn. When i left i just got this feeling of dred, like what am i going to do. So i'm going to call my father, see if i can come live with him for the rest of the year, which he will agree to i know, and then i'm going to be gone. I love everyone here, especially david, i'm so unsure right now of every decision i'm making. I don't know what is going on, but i'm glad that it happened i couldn't live anymore with them and there crap, i couldn't take it anymore. But such is life. So now i'm waiting for david to call back, which i hope he does really soon, cuz i love him, and i want to see him.
Thank you sydney for being there though, it means a lot to me that you are such a great friend. Um I think i'm going to audition for the King and I tomorrow just to see what i get, hoping that i can just stay at Ted's house for a while. Um yea, i need some love so comment! I love everyone!
Corey Lee |
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| I jammed my toe |
[Sep. 16th, 2005|03:41 pm] |
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I hurt, my toe is in pain, and i can't really do anything about it... ugh.... Lol. odd way to start a blog right? Well i tried out for my one act and i think i'll get a good part, but i'm not sure. Um, stephanie poland, the love of my life, made me an accompinment cd using her computer, and i love it, it sounds so professional, so i'll be good for districts. Yay. Tonight i work, i go out with sydney i have fun, yay! (though a little bit romanian...) Talk later kids! |
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